Summertime Chi is in full effect with patios, rooftops and festivals underway, so given the success of the much anticipated Top Gun sequel, Top Gun – Maverick, I thought it was a good time to put out another dating post on topic.
Dating by Wegs: Talk to Me, Goose!
Before we embark on this mission together, we are going to need to educate people on the terms related to this topic. Top Gun came out in 1986, and with it, there were a litany of terms that were sent into the popular lexicon outside of the iconic sound track. The one for this post is the Wing Man.
What is a Wing Man?
In the movie, a wing man is the 2nd plane that covers the 1st plane in case of enemy fire or if the 1st plane cannot complete the mission, then they step up to complete it. However, at its core, the Wing Man is the support for the lead plane so they can hit their target. Now, this is no spoiler for a movie out for 36 years, but technically, Goose was Maverick’s Rear Admiral and not his wingman in the traditional naval aviator sense. He was, however, Mav’s best friend, and in social situations, he was always his wing man to get the girl. Like the You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling move they pulled at the bar in the original.
For the basis of this post, let’s get all the ridiculous parallel terms out of the way.
Point – The person who takes the lead and makes contact with the person of interest. Now, in the movie, Mav was never supposed to leave his Wing Man (what I’m calling the Point), but in reality, there is always a Point and Support, so I’ve renamed the term.
Target – The person who the Point is trying to win over – see Top Gun – a “target rich environment”
Wing Man – The support person for the Point, and reason for this post. I’m going to opt for the gendered term even though men or women can indeed be Wing Men.
Bogeys – For us, that means the other people around the Target for which the Wing Man has to occupy when the interaction begins
Engagement – Not the marriage kind, but instead of using the term “dogfight” which seems inappropriate and not aligned with the spirit of this post, the Point and Wing Man need to engage the Target to achieve the goal. Now, the goal ultimately is more time with the Target outside of the meeting. In this day and age, that’s probably an exchange of IG info, but of course, it can still be a fun rest of the night.
Types of Wing Men/Women
Now, there are probably more than just this list, but realize there are different types of Wing Men/Women. Some are more helpful than others.
- Strong Silent Type – This Wing Man is really all about just being there. Just standing next to their Point, maybe laughing at a joke or nodding when necessary, but do not expect a full conversation of out this type. The Point needs to carry the convo with not just the Target but the Bogeys. The good news is the Strong Silent Type will never leave his Point’s side, which is ultimately a really important trait.
- Goofy Type – This Wing Man is that funny, silly friend that will keep the whole group laughing. Really, this is Goose in Top Gun, but we all have this friend. I, personally, love this type because as fun loving as I am as a person, it takes a special person to be themselves as goofy as they may be in a new social interaction or engagement mission, the Goofy Type can really disarm even the toughest of Bogeys.
- Maverick Type – This Wing Man is actually based on a good friend of mine. He’s a great guy, but back in the day, if he wasn’t engaged himself with a Bogey apart from the Point’s Target, then he would immediately disappear and pull the “ripcord” leaving the Point by himself to fend amongst the Bogeys and Target. An Army of One, the Maverick is much better as the Point or to do work by themselves like Tom Cruise in the movies.
- Opener Type – The last Wing Man is also based on a buddy of mine. Regardless of whether he was the Point or Wing Man, he was great at initiating the Engagement and striking up conversations in any situation. The Opener has the gift of gab, and they can talk about any topic. This Wing typically is not just good at initiating conversation, but staying on the mission by talking with the Bogeys to let the Point work on his Target.
Rules of Engagement
There are obviously many ways to Engage with people. So, you may have a style that suits you, and I encourage anyone reading this to experiment with different ways to break the ice. Here are some tips on how you can be all that you can be as a Wing Man.
- Identify Roles – Now, people that have been out together a lot may not need this rule, but it’s helpful to establish prior to Engagement who the Target, Point, Wing Man and Bogeys are. That way both parties are on the same mission.
- The Hard Deck – This is the non-negotiables in the Engagement. A time limit is a good idea. The Point should have some regard for their Wing. I mean I’ve been there when my Point wanted to chat up this Target for like 2 hours before exchanging numbers. So, part of the pre-routine is going over when and how to BOTH Ripcord the situation. Also, maybe if the Engagement turns a particular way – say both parties need to go home with the Target and Bogeys, but the Wing Man is married, that’s a hard limit on the Engagement.
- Never Leave Your Point – Maverick had to learn this lesson the hard way, but remember in these Engagements, the Wing Man is not the Point. You are there for the Point, not yourself. If you choose to engage with your Point, then you are in it for as long as you have agreed to be.
- Full Engagement – A Wing Man needs to be all in. Now, there are ways to do it – laugh at the bad Point jokes, pump up the Point to the Target and Bogeys to make them look good, and sense when it’s time to fully engage the Bogeys so the Point can get that one on one time with the Target to complete the mission assuming they stay above the Hard Deck.
- Find That Loving Feeling – We all want to connect with people. That’s the reason we go out and meet new people. So, be in the zone with the Bogeys. Beyond just being engaged in the interaction, live in the moment. Many, many Wing Men have emerged from Engagements with Targets of their own or maybe great friends and at bare minimum a great night.
Before I close, a quick story. When I was younger, I had plenty of fun times trying to engage with women in every way possible. I’m more of an Opener Type than anything else. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve taken the approach to not be so prescribed as it seems in this post.
A couple years ago, pre-pandemic, one of the best Wing Man experiences I had was with my cousin who is like 18 years my junior. After a flag football playoff game that ended our season, we were talking to a couple of our newer teammates at the bar. A simple conversation about my gambling podcast turned into a wager of shots based on college football. I recall my cousin taking 2 shots per quarter at one point, which seemed like a bold strategy. Of course, I was winning my bets, but decided to do celebratory shots with my cousin’s Target to try to keep things rolling. Before we knew it we were both talking to our respective Targets individually. I knew it was a successful mission when I looked at the end of the bar a couple hours in, and my cousin was singing at the top of his lungs to some song played over the bar noise. Was it the shots? The adrenaline from the game? No, it was the effortless flow we had understanding the rules of engagement. We had never really even tried an Engagement before, but we both had a great rest of the night, which is always the ultimate goal. Hopefully, you can achieve the same level of confidence in your next mission.
Good luck, Pilots!
Wegs