I’ve been a bit preoccupied lately with both work and the reopening of Chicago. However, I have a duty to my loyal readers to keep you all connected to singledom. So, let’s do it.
Dating by Wegs: Back to the Streets
I have 2 inspirations for this post. One reference is an entirely too current one in Saweetie’s catchy riff, Back to the Streets, which really has nothing to do with dating at all. However, it is such a great title for what is happening right now with re-opening across America. Now that cities, like Chicago, are fully open to the vaccinated or those that say they are vaccinated, plus the warm summer weather, it certainly feels like a normal Chicago summer. However, the other inspiration for this article takes me back to my youth. As a kid, my family would sit down in front of the tv to watch the Muppet Show on Saturday nights with Roberto’s pizza and the one time a week we could drink pop (which is soda or Coke to other regions). I distinctly remember an episode when the Muppets did a musical number called, For What It’s Worth by Stephen Stills. The song lyrics went like, “Stop. Hey What’s That Sound, Everyone Look What’s Going Round.” The Muppet creatures would stop, look around and then run and hide all of sudden, but then come out again when the refrain played again. For some reason, that particular number was one of the most memorable Muppet Show songs to me, and for me, it seems like all during COVID there was the sheltering part of the Muppet act and now it’s time to come out and dance like those little Muppets did.
From my count, the quarantine part of the pandemic lasted roughly 15 full months. The initial shutdown was swift, and we all got completely locked down until the summer when things were open but mostly outdoors with limited indoor capacity. In Chicago and some other places, once the winter approached restrictions returned to near full limitations. Slowly as spring approached capacity limits went up, but there still were measures like masks and temperature checks. However now, as of June 4th in Chicago, there are virtually no mandated restrictions. Businesses can enforce their own rules, but the recommendation is fully vaccinated people can have free reign. Now, of course, there were places that were a lot looser with the restrictions than others. In fact, I was in a bar in May, weeks before the re-opening that didn’t require masks at all and with standing patrons. So, certainly the 15 month period had a variety of options out there. For me, I’ve always been on the edge of safety, and to most of my friends, I was considered “high risk.” I mean even some of my best buddies were like, “You are the definition of high risk, Wegs.”
With all that said, no matter the level of “risk” people have placed on others the summer is here and the vaccination rate very high in the adult population of Chicago, let’s just say the Muppets are out of their hiding places and people are ready to mingle. I think everyone has had enough of the Pandemic and is ready to get back to their lives. What does this mean for dating though?
Summer traditionally is actually a great time to meet people, but a terrible time to date. Please refer to my Seasons of Dating post.
Dating By Wegs – The Seasons of Dating
People are out all the time. They are on boats, at the beach, going to festivals, BBQs, and anything to celebrate the greatest time Chicago has to offer. Now with 15 months of pent up sexual and social energy, there is no doubt going to be some great hook ups. I coined the term, Thirsty Summer 2020, now Thirsty Summer 2021 with the actual re-opening. I mean we all know that the ladies are enjoying Hot Girl Summer in bikinis and rosé – selfies aplenty, but hook ups are not dates, right? There is no question that a summer romance or passionate one night stand can lead to something in the future. However, if you are looking to actually date someone with the purpose of a relationship, then take my advice and stay single for now.
I can speak from immediate experience that there are a ton of people on the apps that have never even tried “online dating” or the apps before. In fact, in May I was matching at a much higher rate than normal. However, I also would say that the flake factor has increased proportionately. Two Fridays ago, I even got stood up by someone. Now, most of my loyal readers know that I tend to date younger women, so you may be saying – “Wegs, of course that 20 something didn’t want to meet up.” Oh no, this woman was 38 years old with a job and I thought we had a good Hinge-worthy banter. Yet, when I left Foster Beach from playing beach volleyball early to get home, shower and meet my date at one of my favorite summer spots, Bacino’s Grill by the Diversey Driving Range, I parked just in time for our date at 7 PM. Then, I went on the app to message my date on where to park only to find that she literally unmatched me from the app. Yep, the same person the day before who was “Looking forward to meeting you.” I didn’t take this personally. This is how it goes right now. People have so much going on. I think since June 4th, I’ve had no less than 2 invitations per weekend day to do something. So, even though I have tried to maintain seeing a couple of people I’m seeing casually, it just is not the time to actually date.
The logical question is – “What should I do Wegs? I mean it’s been a while, you know….”
If you are actually single right now and didn’t leave the COVID protocol with a COVID bae or worse a COVID baby, then embrace it. Be single. Make it your Hot Girl or Hot Guy Summer. Hit every beach party, boat cruise, rooftop or patio bar you can. Post your selfies on IG. Live your best life, as we couldn’t for 15 months. I’m not saying you don’t need to be on the apps, but people have been under a Netflix spell for 15 months and are ready for this. Even if they are Introverts, they crave human to human contact. So, chop it up with someone new. I’m a big proponent of what I call Affinity Friendships or Acquaintances. An Affinity Friendship is someone you meet doing something you like to do – for me, that is playing sports. Right now, that’s Beach Volleyball. I was lucky enough last summer to get to know a really great group of people that played in Evanston last summer (when Chicago beaches were shutdown). Thankfully, that group has continued and even expanded. What better way to do something active and meet more people under the hot summer Sun. For you, maybe it is a runner’s group or you know someone with a boat. Regardless of the group or activity, if you do something you love then it is very likely you will meet someone that also loves that thing, whatever it is.
Now, I write all this as I am still talking to non-Affinity Friends. Because that is ok!! Go out with whoever invites you. I think this summer is really unprecedented. You have the opportunity to meet people you never would have because people are willing to get out of their literal comfort zone – because that comfort zone was Boring AF for 15 months. Should you be cautious on who you take invitations from? Sure, you can, but what is the harm in trying something new right now or plunging deeper into an activity you like but didn’t have the time for before or during the pandemic. Obviously, communicate as openly as possible with the people you do connect with, so they know where you are. Regardless, my best advice is enjoy the summer sunshine and the new unrestricted city you live in, and if you really find someone you fall for – great. However, Cuffing Season is just 3-4 months away. That dating period will be great for everyone to actually find someone and invest in long term.
So, follow the Saweetie lyrics and take it Back to the Streets this summer. You’ll thank me later.
Wegs