Dating by Wegs: COVID Stories Part 2 – We Get What We Need

I thought I would brighten this cold Friday in February with another interesting COVID dating experience I had. This time from the summer when things were more open, but still restricted. Hope you enjoy it.

Dating By Wegs – We Get What We Need

As I may have written before, once things locked down I decided to try my hand at dating on the apps again. After a year out of the swiping world, I was reminded very quickly that despite the pandemic parameters, not a lot had changed.

Just a recap with swipe app dating, most apps really focus on the photos. We live in a pretty disposable society, and swipe apps make dating even more so. I always suggest putting your best or classiest picture first, then you can do the silly or zany pics afterwards. I do prefer Hinge over Bumble and Tinder, even though Bumble has improved by adding tags much like Hinge which serve as conversation starters. Hinge actually allows you to communicate with someone without them “matching” with you.

So, in mid-May, I jumped back on Tinder, Bumble and Hinge. I loaded some new photos. I started swiping daily, and when I was fortunate to get a match I worked my text game back into shape. I did slide my age range up, as I am open to dating a woman closer to my age, much to my mom’s delight. I actually met some really great women.

After a few quality conversations and dates, I connected with this attractive nurse from Oak Park. She was in her mid-30s, so I thought there was some real potential there.

We went out once on a nice rooftop in River North. Standard even then, I made a reservation, and we had 90 minutes to make it happen. In that first date, I was taken by her colorful, wrap dress and charm. She was originally from Kenya, so she had a lovely accent, which I’m a sucker for, of course. As all dates go during this time, you cover people’s view on COVID. For her, she really believed that everyone was going to get it (even that early on), so let things ride. At that time, I did not agree, but I try not to go too deep into those conversations unless it involved drinking Chlorox. The date went very well, and unfortunately after 90 minutes, we parted ways since that is a COVID thing – I wasn’t as experienced at that point to have a 2nd venue at the ready.

I did slow dating some once the Evanston beach opened to play sand volleyball, as I started playing 3 times a week after that date. So, I stayed in contact via text, as we exchanged actual numbers. The banter was playful, and to her credit, she wanted me to take charge in setting up another date. So, about 3 weeks later, I set up another date.

This time I found a great place. A “secret” place actually. The place for my loyal readers and friends is called Bacino’s Grill. My good friend, Seema, who lives just blocks from here introduced me to her favorite neighborhood hangout. Bella Bacino’s is a very tasty pizza place, and this outpost right next to the Diversey Driving Range on the Lincoln Park/Lakeview border is a true gem. When the weather is warm enough, Bacino’s Grill sets up a grassy area with a slew of Adirondack chairs next to an outdoor bar. During the summer (and I believe all year), they do not take reservations, so you just have to get lucky. However, you can bring a blanket and sit on the lawn as well and still get walk up service from the very friendly staff. They also have patio tables and chairs, but I really enjoy getting a couple of Adirondack chairs, order one of their Two Brothers’ beers or canned cocktails like the delicious mojito and just enjoy the evening. Besides this date, I went to Bacino’s Grill 7 or 8 times this past summer and fall. So, I really recommend it – date or otherwise.

I set up the date with my nurse friend, and she strode up the lawn in another very colorful, wrap dress. She looked stunning, to be honest. I liked her energy, and I was excited for our date. We put down 2 or 3 cocktails during our time there, plus we ordered a pizza, if I recall. Bacino’s closes at 9 PM, however, so we walked up the gravel path contemplating our next move on the perfect summer night.

Thankfully, I had been in contact with my best buddies and bartenders at my favorite bar, Four Shadows, in west Lakeview. At that point, they had indoor dining, and they were open until 12 midnight. So, I called over there to see if they had space for us, and they did. Off to The Shadow!

My guys, Matt and Rob, set us up at a table right next to the bar – another COVID thing – no bar service only table service. Yet, it was just like we were at the bar. By this time, my date had probably had enough to drink. However, we were going to have a night and continued to put a couple back. The Uber over from the lake to Four Shadows was uneventful. As most people know, Uber and other ride sharing services require riders to wear a mask at all times.

At The Shadow, my date was definitely getting saucy. She started getting in a debate with my bartender buddy about his African heritage. Apparently there is a bit a rivalry between Kenya and Nigeria. Who knew? She also asked for some specific music to be played, but my guys directed her to the jukebox. She put on a few songs. Before I knew it, she was dancing in the middle of the bar. Now, under normal circumstances, dancing like no one is looking is encouraged. Unfortunately, in COVID times, dancing at all is not normal. Plus, my date wasn’t wearing her mask at the time.

My guys at the bar gave me the – Get control of your gurl look – and I brought her mask to her, as I joined her on the “dance floor.” We were having a great time, and admittedly, if it wasn’t for my guys at “my” bar, then this would not be possible. Dancing and enjoying the summer night was definitely not part of COVID Summer 2020.

After a while, I could see that she was pretty buzzed. I invited her to come over to my place, so we can relax together. Yep, I’m a guy, and of course, despite the minor COVID infraction, I was into it. On the way home, my nurse friend refused to wear her mask in the Uber. She also got a little confrontational with the driver about him wearing his mask, since he was also a “Man of Africa” – I think he was Algerian. I mean in 2019 none of this was even a thing, but in that moment in that Uber I was horrified. Not sure what that says about me, as of course, I still wanted to make out with her, but I guess the whole situation was such a unique COVID-only dating situation. One of the things that has happened in this pandemic is we really judge each other on our “social distancing” behaviors, and we translate that sole position in speaking to their underlying character.

We got back to my place, and we enjoyed each other. We did have an awkward conversation at the end that left me thinking a bit. So, even though I think she is a fun, beautiful person, I did not continue to see her. I think I let both that conversation and the Uber incident color my perception of her as a person, which in hindsight, I probably rushed to judgement like everyone else reading this right now.

When I reflect on that night, in particular, maybe we both just needed to feel a little normal again on a warm July night in the strangest summer of our lives. As I write this, I definitely realize that during COVID for all of us and especially in dating, you have to take care of yourself. It is important to get what you need and understand your own limits, but hopefully, you can respect that everyone around you also has their needs and safety in mind without judging them and their actions.

Until next time.

Wegs