To all my loyal readers and good friends that wait each week to read the fun adventures of Wegs on this blog, I’m officially taking a break from dating.
Dating By Wegs
It has been 8 months since I launched this portion of my blog with great success. I mean who doesn’t want to read about a guy making crazy mistakes and taking chances on finding something meaningful in this #SwipeLife of ours. The truth is that my divorce has continued to linger and with that my verve to meet new women has declined precipitously.
The real Rule #1 of dating is only date when you are ready to jump in 100%. Of course, I was all gung ho about it in the fall when I had hopes that my divorce was going to be finalized in short order. So, the extended nature of the process has had a multitude of effects.
First, frankly, my hope to find a good, caring woman has dwindled considerably. When you go through this whole thing and the other person is all about the amount of money they can get out of you, it really makes it hard for someone to trust the intentions of someone new. I know that in time I will recover from this aspect of the divorce. Yet, my sadness and anxiety over why this process has gone so awry has definitely made me distrust the opposite sex quite a bit. I was raised by my mom to be an open hearted, loving person. As such, I almost always expect the best in others. Unfortunately, the dark sides of divorce and the lack of fairness and/or caring in the process has damaged my spirit.
Secondly, I’m basically broke now. It was really fun last summer to have the Summer of Wegs. That meant an obscene amount of drinking and late nights. As you have read in my posts, dating at this stage of life is not for the budget-conscious. I am a bit old fashioned when it comes to dating, and picking up the check for the early dates can really hit the bottom line or more appropriately raise the credit card balance. Mix that with some late nights of bottle service and some other questionable decisions, and you my friend, have no room to breathe. I had hoped to reset once the divorce was finalized, and it will happen eventually. However, with the seemingly interminable proceedings, that day of paying off those cards seems like a far off dream at this point.
Thirdly, I’m a firm believer in the energy you put out will come back to you. Unfortunately, the way I feel right now is not hopeful and more importantly not centered. As such, it seems like I’m not even super attractive to the women I’d like to spend time with. I can’t tell you how many times in the past 2 months that I have matched with either a bot or foreign person who clearly is scamming the apps – especially on Hinge which used to be my favorite app. You have to come at this thing with a positive, centered energy. If you do that, then you will meet someone worthy of your time and efforts. I think one of the main appeals of these posts is that people liked my adventurous spirit and willingness to be open and sharing those tales. I don’t feel that way right now. Translation: my heart just isn’t in it.
Lastly, I met with one of my best friends a month or so ago. We talk often on the phone, but over a few drinks, he asked me a really interesting question – “What if you just didn’t try to date anyone? Get off the apps, etc. and focus on yourself?” It has taken me a solid month to digest such a notion. The dating world right now is the “Thank You, Next” model. If you aren’t happy, then you are one swipe away. I mean checking Bumble, Tinder and Hinge, my “traps” as my Buddy says, is part of my daily routine multiple times a day. I think the only way I can get back to the Dating By Wegs spirit I enjoyed several months ago is to get back to center. Get out and sweat on the beach playing volleyball. Hang out with friends after softball. Spend time with my daughter, who I have struggled with lately. And just be me, Wegs or maybe even better, Jim. I know I can do it. I don’t need all this dating or the adventures to enjoy my life. Then, who knows, maybe the Divorce crap will finally end, and instead of feeling prisoner to the process without control, I will get a better sense of strength from within.
I want to thank each of you loyal readers who have encouraged me so much during my entire process. We have enjoyed a lot of laughs here, and maybe you even learned from my mistakes a bit. I promise you I will be back sharing great dating recommendations and the like. However, I need to get back to basics and find my authenticity on my own right now.
Until then,
Wegs
Very honest. Very true. Well done.
Awww man – maybe keep provide us with with monthly updates as you “focus on yourself”
Either way – basketball starts in 4 months so rest up!!